The tricking economy appears bloated. As the social fabric has shifted, many have exited marriage and long-term committed relationships. They now operate outside the traditional relationship spectrum, preferring non-committed arrangements or transactional boyfriend–girlfriend formats to maximize multiple needs and desires. It is essentially the outsourcing of different aspects of a relationship to multiple partners, each serving a niche function.
A lot of people who move through the world calling themselves monogamous are not actually living monogamous lives. They adopt the label because it is socially legible, safe, and expected, not because it accurately reflects how they experience desire, attachment, or novelty. The result is a quiet mismatch between identity and behavior that produces secrecy instead of honesty.
Cheating is not evidence of polyamory. It is evidence of dishonesty. Cheating occurs when someone violates the agreement they consented to, regardless of how many people they desire or feel connected to. A polyamorous person can cheat by lying or hiding. A monogamous person can cheat by breaking exclusivity. The harm comes from deception, not from multiplicity.
Monogamy does not mean only ever wanting one person. It means choosing one bond at a time and honoring it until it is ended. Attraction, temptation, and emotional curiosity do not negate monogamy. What negates it is acting without integrity or transitioning to someone new without closing the existing bond first.
Many people are functionally polyamorous but structurally monogamous. They desire multiple connections, stimulation, or emotional variety, yet present themselves as exclusive because they fear judgment, loss, or instability. Instead of naming this truth, they hide it, and that concealment becomes the real betrayal.
A monogamous person can be with a polyamorous person, but only when the monogamous person truly wants exclusivity for themselves without requiring it in return. This dynamic collapses when the monogamous partner is silently hoping for eventual exclusivity, suppressing needs, or enduring pain to maintain access. It also collapses when polyamory is used as a shield against accountability rather than a framework of transparency.
Overlaying all of this is a side-woman epidemic shaped by a Trick Economy. Many women are not being “tricked” into secondary positions; they are strategically choosing them. In an economy built on ambiguity, partial access, and emotional leverage, being a side woman offers flexibility without responsibility, proximity without commitment, and benefit without risk. This preference thrives precisely because clarity would collapse the arrangement.
The central issue is not monogamy versus polyamory. It is mislabeling. People choose identities that sound respectable rather than ones that are accurate. They avoid clarity because clarity demands consequences, boundaries, and honesty. Most relational harm comes from this refusal to name reality.
Cheating is not a sexuality. Polyamory is not an excuse. Monogamy is not a guarantee of integrity. The only thing that makes a relationship ethical is congruence between what is declared, what is desired, and what is practiced.
Many have adopted the belief that it’s better to trick
It’s better to be a side bitch to a man with money than it is to be a primary to a broke man
Reminds me of the great Gatsby
