(/s this is clearly bullshit)
I was sitting in an Olive Garden the other day, looking at a bowl of endless pasta, and I had a massive realization.
We tend to think of Italians as European, right? Romans, Mediterranean, all that. But when you look at their culture right now, today, what is the undeniable foundation of it?
The tomato.
Think about it.
Pizza, marinara sauce, caprese salad, bolognese most can say this is the very soul of Italian cuisine. It relies on the tomato. You take the tomato away and modern Italian cuisine as we know it basically collapses.
But here’s the thing: Tomatoes are not native to Italy. They didn’t even exist in Europe until the 1500s.
They are native to the Americas and were domesticated by Mesoamerican civilizations, specifically the Aztecs and Mayans in what is now Mexico.
The word “tomato” literally comes from the Nahuatl (Aztec language) word tomatl.
Before the Columbian exchange, Romans were just eating wheat porridge and fish sauce. The vibrance of their current culture came directly from Mexico.
So, if the root of their cultural identity is Aztec, why do we pretend they are separate people? Isn’t it obvious that Italians are just dispersed Mesoamericans living in the Mediterranean?
Why do we let borders and different languages divide us? We need to stop the tribalism between Rome and Tenochtitlan.
It’s time for unity and solidarity for the Aztec diaspora. 🍅🇲🇽🇮🇹✊🏾 see! Even the flag is the same!
Next we’ll see how chili peppers make Asians Americans
Let me enjoy my gumbo with okra now please 😂
**Satire disclaimer: This is intentionally absurd and meant to parody flawed “diaspora” logic. Please do not take literally**
